Finding images for the Spotter’s Guide made me realize there are a few types of Motorcyclist out there that don’t necessarily fit one of those categories. Much as in the taxonomy of animals, they didn’t make a special class for "big mammals." Speaking of which, here’s our first one:
 Bear on a Unicycle – Any person whose size appears to dwarf that of their bike. Caution! Stops for school buses, railway crossings, Dunkin Donuts. |
 Trainin’ Wheeler – Lowest "two-wheeler" on the totem pole because they have four wheels, yet they call it a trike. Tips to Help Avoid: Go 10 mph under the speed limit or faster. Stay away from state parks on weekends. Avoid chain diners (such as Culver’s). |
 The Wingnut – Thinks they can build something better for less. Usually results in garishly over-complicated geegaws with little to no thought for safety. Tips for Avoidance: Stay away from motorcycling campsites, Home Depot, plumbing supply shops. |
 The Hauler – "Hey, this has an engine, I bet I can carry that."Use Extreme Caution! Items may dislodge at any time. No parts are used in any way related to their intended purpose. (Yes, that’s me moving my couch on my Genuine Buddy 125.) |
 Tarzan – For this group of riders, fashion has definitely taken precedence over form. Unfortunately, the fashion makes the rider look like a Cirque de Soleil reject.Danger! Cannot steer, shift, relax, breathe. |
 Rob Halford – Despite avid denial, is the look every Harley rider is going for.Tips for Avoidance: Stay away from Fire Island, The Castro, garment districts, the Logo network. |
 The Celebrity – Usually makes a point of arriving somewhere on a motorcycle to illustrate that they truly are a motorcyclist. Attempts to avoid looking older.Caution! May bore you with combined motorcycling and famous-people-they-know stories. Note! See Rob Halford above for analysis of this celebrity’s look. |
" Straight Pipes" – Attempts to prove the adage "Loud pipes save lives" by wearing no gear.Danger! May deafen you while all traffic passes them. |