I had another dream which I have since forgotten. Fortunately, my wonderful fiancee has proven her value to me by remembering it after I told to her right as I woke up. Perhaps she recalls this flight of fantasy because it directly involved her. And boy, was she in trouble.

She doesn’t remember how it starts, or in what order the events occur, but follows is the basic structure as she recalls it.

Lauren and I had two kids, and the first kid was really small. Maybe 2′ tall, but aged around 3 or 4. He talked and was super smart. 

I was mad at Lauren because she had named it without consulting with me, and it didn’t have either of our last names. Just some random name.

Mariah Carey was trying to steal the baby and we were being chased by her. At some point, we ended up on the side of the road.

Somehow we ended up in McDonald’s with our second child who Lauren misplaced.

By the way, he was a waffle.

We asked around if anyone had seen our second child, and everyone raised a waffle up. So Lauren went running around in a song-and-dance routine trying to find him.

Then I watched a talk show where P-Diddy, formerly Puff Daddy, explained the origin of his name. Seems that as a child he really enjoyed puff pastries. Simple enough.

Yr fthfl bddy,
Mike

4 thoughts on “My Child, the Breakfast Food”
  1. Congrats on being engaged. Be sure to get that blood test before you’re married, it’s how you know if one of your kids is going to be a waffle.

    1. That’s a smart idea. The thing is, I’ve always said I come from a long line of pie people, and Lauren’s family is decidedly pancake oriented. Perhaps this interbreeding of pies and pancakes produces a waffle.

      We’ll schedule the blood test ASAP.

      (By the way, the wedding is next December near Chicago. You guys are invited.)

      1. I always thought the cross of pie and pancake was a snack cake, but I guess bread genetics is more complicated than that. As long as your other kid isn’t an oyster, you’re probably in good shape.

        Thanks for the invite. Dunno if we’ll make it, we barely made it to our own wedding, but it could happen.

Leave a Reply