A while ago my friend John and I were playing with SwiftKey on our Android phones and made a game out of letting it finish our sentences for us.

The rules were: You can start the sentence, but after that you can only select from SwiftKey’s three displayed choices. Some of them ended up insightful whereas others were… a bit odd.

SwiftKey stuff is in italics. Also, I would love to do pictures for these.

Tom SwiftKeys:

Morgan Freeman, the only way to get a chance to win a pair of boots.

My plan relied upon a monster.

Can’t wait for a couple weeks ago.

Spare the rod and spoil the evening.

To be or not to be, that is the first time I got a triple word score.

A bird in hand is worth a try.

Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and the whole world laughs at you.

A penny saved is a pretty stupid question.

It ain’t over till you see the taxpayers money being put to good use.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s fine with me.

Walk softly, but carry a high quality lunch.

A penny saved is a great opportunity for a few minutes ago.

It was the best of times, it was the first time, in my opinion.

You can lead a horse to water polo.

Give me liberty or give me some banter.

I regret that I have but one life to give for my own interior design company.

The only thing to fear is the first week in a new form of an undergraduate degree.

Today is the first day of the rest of your own public transport.

Call me Ishmael, and I will not receive any other questions about your business advice.

A stitch in time saves you money on your mobile phone.

In the beginning was the word, and it was really a problem for the last week.

Never say never mind.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why is everyone spelling names wrong?”

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see more details about this product.

A rose by any other name would still smell of you who don’t want to come to my house on Saturday night.

Ladies and gentlemen and all ships in my room.

Give a man a fish puns, boys, we’d like to see them too.

 

Don’t worry, be proactive.

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood a beautiful day for a while. Chain Link Exchange. Chain Link Exchange.

Mary had a little more than one club.

Charles in charge of supper and drinks.

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t have said they would like you.

A friend in need is a freak.

Rome wasn’t built in the morning.

Absence makes the heart grow tired of thinking about you.

All good things must come to my friend’s birthday party.

Old habits die, but I don’t.

The grass is always greener in my room, which is why I enjoy painting portraits.

That’s a fine kettle drum concerto competition.

Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden brown shoes.

Any friend of yours is a friend who has a spare ticket for sale.

Where there’s smoke, there’s no reason to believe in Christianity.

Do unto others as you would have been sucked out of my piano teacher.

Do or do not, there is no width or height limit.

May the force be in touch with me and my dad.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice as much as possible.

Where there’s a will, there’s no need for your business idea.

I just called to say I love this trip to China.

Put that in your pigeon hole by this Friday.

Frankly my dear, I don’t think having a hard copy of your life is a good idea.

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s not too late for us to do it.

How now brown door?

 

Also, thanks to Lauren, Skip, and Geoff for helping with these. (Or at least listening to them.)

 

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